My friend Sheri blogs every day. Rain. Shine. It doesn’t matter; she always has something to say. I know she likes to joke about how much she talks, but that’s not it. Well, I mean, she is chatty, but then we both are – when we’re around each other we can talk for hours, but I don’t think that’s weird or abnormal or anything. I think that’s just how it is sometimes when you’re with friends.
And not only that, Sheri does what I call Honest Blogging (I think there’s an actual name for it, like Live Out Loud or something for that style of blogging, but I can’t remember the actual name of it right now.) I can’t really seem to manage that. Once upon a time, I didn’t mind blogging that way, but somethings happened and I had a falling out with some friends, and… well… you can guess how blogging honestly becomes hard when anything you say or do can (and will) be held against you.
I still feel that way, and I still get nervous about even writing that above sentence.
I had a friend who wanted to drop me from facebook because of an angry update I once made, and I’ve not felt comfortable there since. I mean, what a tragedy if I get angry. Maybe I’m allowed to be angry, but just in the most abstract of terms? Maybe actually expressing it is the part that’s not allowed?
Sort of seems that people like you best when you present an empty vessel, something that they can fill up with their own interpretations of who it is you’re supposed to be. But it’s tough to be empty all the time. Or it’s easy, but unsatisfying. I’m not sure. I tend to over think things often, but it’s more akin to spinning wheels than it is towards getting any traction or figuring out where I’m headed.
I think I’m going to try to start blogging more, if nothing else I can post that I AM working all the time, even if I’m not updating comics as often as I should be. If nothing else, it could be about that, right? I know Sheri started out by blogging an imaginary person’s blog, but then it turned personal. Maybe mine can be like that: I’ll use the progress updates as a way to ease back into it, and if you don’t want to read it, you don’t have to. I won’t blame you or hold it against you.
Sometimes it’s best if you don’t get to know people too well, they’ll only disappoint you. Although, mind you, there are some people that you’ll actually get to liking more if you get to know them. So it’s sort of a crap shoot.